Leadership in the Messy Middle: What Tennis Taught Me About Clarity and Comebacks

"I feel lost. I used to be so confident in my role, and now I second-guess everything. Who even am I anymore?"

I’ve heard this from clients more times than I can count - leaders, business owners, and professionals alike. It usually comes at a moment of big change: redundancy, burnout, new parenthood, a promotion that doesn’t feel like a win, or the business no longer lighting them up like it used to.

But this isn't failure. This is the messy middle of leadership.
And believe it or not, this is exactly where the real growth happens.

As a career and leadership coach, and someone who's made the leap myself - out of the familiar and into the unknown - I’ve come to see that leadership isn’t about having it all figured out. It’s about learning how to lead yourself when the old map no longer makes sense.

And weirdly enough, the tennis court is where this lesson really clicked for me.

When I became a mum, everything shifted. The roles I used to wear with ease; professional, partner, friend, ambitious go-getter, they all suddenly felt out of reach. My days became a blur of feeds, naps, and nappies. Somewhere along the way, I stopped doing the things that made me feel like me.

One of those things was tennis.

I gave it up just before my son was born. At the time, it felt like a small sacrifice in the grand scheme of parenting. But what I didn’t realise was just how important it was, not just for my physical wellbeing, but for my identity and social connection.

Leadership isn’t just about showing up for everyone else - it’s about staying anchored in yourself, too.

Watch the Ball. Breathe.

I love playing tennis. There’s something about the rhythm of it - the focus, the movement, the psychology, moments of triumph and frustration all wrapped into one yellow fuzzy ball.

When I step onto the court, I have a mantra:
“Watch the ball. Breathe.”

Simple, right? But try sticking to it when your mind is racing, you're anticipating your opponent’s next move, or you’ve just messed up an easy shot.
Leadership is the same.
We lose focus when we’re constantly trying to stay ten steps ahead, react to pressure, or recover from a ‘mistake’ at work, or in life.

When everything feels overwhelming, we need to come back to the present moment. The next shot. The next breath. The next aligned decision.

This isn’t about passive waiting, it’s about intentional presence. Grounded leadership.
And if you want proof that this works, look no further than the King of Clay himself.

Channelling Your Inner Rafa Nadal

Rafael Nadal isn’t just a tennis legend - he’s a master of mindset.
Every match, you’ll see him go through his rituals: lining up his water bottles just so, bouncing the ball exactly the same number of times, adjusting his hair, his shorts… every move, repeated like a meditation.

To outsiders, it can look obsessive. But to Rafa, it’s about control in chaos. Focus in pressure.
It’s how he tells his brain: You’ve done this before. You know what to do.

And just before the serve - "Vamos!"
Let’s go.

This is leadership in action. Not performative, but powerful.
Intentional. Ritualised. Resilient.

Leading Through the Unknown

Whether you're a business owner navigating team tensions, a leader stepping into a bigger role, or a professional facing a career crossroads, it’s not about pretending to be unshakable. It’s about knowing what anchors you.

It’s about asking:

• What’s my version of “watch the ball, breathe”?

• What rituals or routines help me show up as the leader I want to be?

• What would Vamos! look like in my world?

Because let’s be honest, there will be unforced errors. You’ll miss opportunities, feel wobbly in decisions, question whether you’re cut out for this.
But you are.
You just need to reconnect with your rhythm, your values, your vision.

The Comeback is the Best Part

The real truth is, no one becomes a great leader by avoiding discomfort. They become great by learning how to lead themselves through it.

And if you’re in that messy middle right now; unsure, uncertain, stuck, I want you to know this:

You’re not broken. You’re becoming.
You don’t need to know the entire game plan. You just need to know your next serve.

So take a breath. Watch the ball.
And when you're ready - Vamos.